Chris Liles Blog-site

Once upon a time, many years ago, I was watching Esther Rantzen’s TV programme “Hearts of Gold” awarding Gold Hearts for heroic acts notified by viewers.  One story touched me and made a lasting impact by boosting my personal effectiveness.

A lady living in Ireland was extremely concerned about the plight of the Vietnamese street children.  Many were war orphans surviving alone on the streets of Vietnam.  This was the equivalent concern of today’s Tsunami, Famine, Flood etc disasters.  However, this lady did not just salve her conscience by making a 50p donation and exchange sympathetic noises with friends in the pub.  Instead, she sold her Irish home, moved across the world and began restoring a large Vietnamese house.  She started taking-in children off the streets, giving them love and a home of their own.  Having proven her concept worked, she began lobbying Vietnamese businesses to sponsor purchase of other houses to create more homes for street children.  On the TV programme, she had already reached 3 houses with more planned.

This story illustrates the “Circles of Influence & Concern” concept wisely expounded in Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”.  He encourages us to review where we focus our time and energy.  You will all have a wide range of concerns e.g. health, children, work problems, a colleague’s extra-marital affair, neighbour’s behaviour etc.  Identify those in which you have actual emotional involvement and mentally place them in your “Circle of Concern” then disregard the rest.

Within your “Circle of Concern” are some things that you can actually do something about.  Place those within a smaller concentric “Circle of Influence”, i.e. in the centre of your “Circle of Concern”.  Now consider how much time you spend focusing on things about which you are “concerned” and how much on things you can actually “influence”.  Proactive people work within their Circle of Influence improving what they can do something about.  Whilst increasing their Circle of Influence they effectively decrease their Circle of Concern since doing something to eliminate those concerns. This is beautifully illustrated via the ‘pebble in a pond’ analogy per the image above. Dropping energy into your Circle of Influence extends it outwards. This reduces space left for your Concerns since we only have a finite amount of time and resources available in our lives.

With my clients I listen to their business problems and genuinely share their concerns.  However, once an overall fact-find is achieved I distance myself and ask them “Is this something you can actually do something about?”  If so, I help them to stand-back from the problem and consider strategies for resolving it.  If not, I help them gain perspective and challenge if they are actually working against themselves in expending energy by worrying.  It could be better directed proactively towards another area within their Circle of Influence.

So use your time and energy to your benefit.  Avoid focussing on e.g. other people’s weaknesses, whingeing about problems with your work environment, market forces etc.  Do not increase your Circle of Concern and create a downwards spiral of negative energy.  Instead, focus positively on things you have (or can achieve) the ability to do something about. Your Circle of Influence will grow and improve life for yourself and those around you.  Increased personal effectiveness and satisfaction will result.

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Do you actually enjoy making “cold” phone calls to introduce your business to others?  Then congratulations, join my elite minority band.  Most people would rather spend a week alone with Dot Cotton, than to sell themselves by phone to strangers.

My ten personal tips for warmer cold calling requires you to stretch your comfort zone to achieve tangible growth . . . I sense some of you already backing-off.  Consider “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got” then keep reading . . .

1. Have a pad and pen beside you; make brief notes e.g. with whom you may be speaking.  This avoids you thinking “Damn, what’s their name?” when your computer crashes.
2. Prepare e.g. research your prospect’s website.   Have the website in front of you and/or record an overview of their services, list personnel, note their pride in service, client relationships, technical abilities etc.
3. Announce slowly and clearly your first and second names plus your company’s.  Allow a few seconds for their brain to engage by starting “Good morning/afternoon Jo, my name is . . .”  If they answered using their personal name then repeat it as I just illustrated – and record it.
4. Be polite, empathetic and above all, light-hearted.  You may feel nervous and grumpy but if you telegraph this, you may get the same in return.
5. Make friends with whoever answers the phone.  Forget “bypassing the gatekeeper”, many times I have rapidly spoken to Board level, thanks to my “friend” on the switchboard or PA’s desk.
6. Be “gently persistent”, if they are out, seek their next appearance and set a task to ring back.  Then use a gentle approach e.g. “Hello Jo, this is Chris Liles, sorry to bother you again, you said this morning that Lord Sugar would be there now.”
7. Aim to learn something new from every call.  If your target is unavailable, seek something else e.g. web address, whether he/she deals with suppliers etc.
8. When you eventually speak with your target, note how they announce themselves.  If “Miss Austin”, use that style even if you know their first name.  However, use both of your names and if they later pick up on the first one, ask them for theirs.
9. Check it is convenient to speak, if not, seek a time to ring back.  Respecting time has leapt me above my competition many times in the past.  People are often far more receptive when you ring back because you showed empathy.

10. Dump scripts – we all know when we are being read one.  At most, have a bullet-point list of things to cover.  You will sound far more human and spontaneous.

That’s all there is to it!  I am sure many of you are already thinking of tips of your own.  Why not pass them to me via the Comments link below.  Alternatively, share them with me anonymously if you prefer via Contact Chris and I will pass it on to the multitude in a later update.  Enjoy making those warm calls and remember . . . strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.

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“I recruited a guy as my manager last year, now I’m calling him Dippy Dave!”  This was my first monthly two-hour coaching visit to help Diana with her business relationships challenges.  She is MD of a small manufacturing business with ten staff and hoped that her General Manager, Dave would handle those staffing issues she detested.  Diana is one of life’s drivers, successfully piloting her steadily growing business whilst also being an excellent technician – but she is impatient with her employees.

“Dippy Dave’s CV looked OK and referees said he was a nice bloke – but he’s a disaster!  How can I get rid of him?”  I encouraged Diana to stand-back to gain perspective.  Asking her to describe Dave’s shortcomings she reeled off: patronising, indecisive, gullible, lazy – Uriah Heep with attitude!  Dave seemed to be the exact opposite of Diana’s personality style, which provided the solution.

Asking her what Diana’s team thought of Dave I got the expected response.  “They think he’s wonderful – caring, encouraging, patient, relaxed – but that’s it, he’s so laid-back he’s horizontal!”  A severe need was emerging for Diana to recognise Dave’s strengths and vice versa, so they can complement each other and create an invincible team.

“Let’s focus on his good points Diana” I suggested.  After the inevitable reply she conceded and reluctantly listed: excellent listener, diplomatic, team player, good conflict resolution, consistently and quietly productive.  Reviewing these descriptors I asked her how many such attributes she could claim for herself.  Diana was admirably honest and acknowledged Dave fills a void she is unable to satisfy in her business.

The only area in which Dave failed to perform was his inability to hit targets.  We discussed involving him in target-setting (rather than Diana’s present statements of fact) and making them SMART – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time scaled.  This culture-shock surprised Diana who was used to guessing a figure then doubling it!  We agreed they would seek mutually agreeable goals in the period before my next visit.

“You expect me to say everything is rosy now, don’t you!” Diana barked a month later.  Actually I expected only a gradual upturn in their relationship in such a short time and gratifyingly, this had occurred.  The target-setting exercise had established common ground for communication.  From this foundation I will help them build a sound, mutually beneficial relationship.  Diana will gain insights into successful leadership and people-management whilst Dave will achieve support and encouragement to make his “quietly productive” style far noisier!

So dear readers, what can you learn from this tale?  Well, next time someone climbs up your nasal cavity, detach yourself and consider their strengths rather than just the areas that irritate you.  You could harness those qualities which are useful to you, whilst their “failings” may in fact be easily resolved to mutual benefit.  Like Diana, try it for a month, watching for small successes and rewarding them by justified praise.  Believe me my friends, warranted praise alone can turn Dippy Dave into Dynamic(ish) Dave!

Learn more about how to avoid personality clashes via my Personality Palette.  Why not leave a comment or to discuss the topic privately Contact Me.

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Enter a crowded room?  Talk to strangers?  Mix with unknown business people?  Talk about yourself?  How would you feel?  Are we talking “sphincter moments” for you?

For me it is Heaven since I love seeking-out new friends that I haven’t yet met.  You may now want me to swig my medication, tighten the straps on my jacket and return to my padded room!  Well, to recover your perception of my sanity, here are Ten Top Tips to help you network easily:

1.      Seek an invitation – from someone in your target network who can be there to meet you to help you to integrate faster and more gently via introductions.

2.      Personal presentation – consider the environment e.g. business suit, jacket and trousers, tie or smart casual?  Ask your sponsor so you can prepare and feel confident as you enter the room.

3.      Use breath fresheners – I have met people who could fell an ox at 50 paces with their breath and I curtail my networking with them at the earliest opportunity.

4.      Wear a badge – but not just your business card in a holder, make the characters of a size that can be read comfortably from a metre away e.g. 5-8mm, say Font size 20.  People will browse adjacent groups and you may be just the person they are looking for.  My badge simply says “Chris Liles – Business Mentor” then in smaller letters “Helping Small Businesses get Bigger & Better”.  This is enough for people to say “How do you help businesses Chris?”  Do not prepare an excellent badge then pin it to your waist!  Although I know a few vertically challenged people, most have their eyes around the level of my own, so I pin/clip my badge at collar level.

5.      Be prepared, when you are asked what you do, have a prepared phrase to get the conversation off to a flying start.  In my case “I have devised Success Clubs combining Problem Solving Sessions, Networking, Selling & Business Skills Training into one half-day per month”.  That is enough for them to decide if they want to know more; if the response is negligible then . . .

6.      Ask open questions e.g. “What line of business are you in?” . . .  “What does that entail?”

7.      Remember names – take their card, repeat their name whilst you are looking at them, to help it lodge in your sub-conscious e.g. “Hello Davina, so what does a Love Coach do?”

8.      Arrive early so that (a) you can familiarise yourself with the environment at leisure (b) meet similarly keen networkers with whom you already have punctuality in common.

9.      Leave late since sometimes people who were ‘distracted’ by others during the session will say ‘Oh I’m glad you’re still here, I’m keen to speak with you’.

10. Record all names, trades, personal details on your database to help you remember them when you revisit that network – people will be amazed and impressed by your ‘memory’.

Simple enough eh?  Notice there is a fair degree of preparation involved.  Lack of such is often what creates Nervous Networkers.  Do your research and preparation, be early, relaxed, suitably dressed and confidence will carry you through.  Now you only need to overcome prevarication don’t you.  OK then, remember ‘Today is Yesterday’s Tomorrow’.  Don’t put it off, Network now!

Contact me if you want more networking tips e.g. devising business cards.

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